The letters of our thoughts are the ideas present in our mind before they come to realization . . . Thoughts that are, yet not felt . . . The words of the subconscious . . . of the soul . . .

These are the LETTERS OF MY THOUGHTS.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

A Return to Elul







My first experiences in Yeshivah were during the month of Elul.


The excitement of the coming days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur was tangible . . .


The desire to have a sweet new year.


In my early naivete I associated teshuvah and cheshbon hanefesh (return and spiritual account taking) with tears.


I said Al Cheit every night by Krias Shma al Hamita . . . after a few nights it was pushed off to every Thursday night . . . then at sometime later it fell off all together.


I wanted to cry.


To cry tears, thick tears soaked with bitterness over what I had done wrong.


It took me 11 months, but right before my second Elul I did cry one evening by Krias Shma al Hamita.


I cried . . . I cried, and I loved  it.


Then it struck me, how can these be tears of bitterness, if I'm enjoying them so much . . .





When the king is in the field, we should be joyous . . .

2 comments:

A Simple Jew said...

Beautiful.

Mottel said...

The picture . . . the words . . .