The letters of our thoughts are the ideas present in our mind before they come to realization . . . Thoughts that are, yet not felt . . . The words of the subconscious . . . of the soul . . .


Thursday, July 27, 2006

Humor me -will yah?

At times I take a crack at writing humor posts . . .
I know at times they can be tedious so humor me as I explain how to enjoy:
The whit and wisdom of Letters of Thought

1.      Think Funny: This rule applies in general – in order
for something to be funny, one must think funny. People laugh at a comedian
because they want to laugh. Had the same comic genius given his act at funeral
the reception wouldn’t be the same.

2.      Read the post slowly: I’ve come to realize that most Americans
do not know how to read English. People skim what’s written; skipping lines,
dropping words and mangling just about everything. High school English helps,
but taking time to read normally will do wonders.

3.      Read the posts out loud: Funny articles are funnier when you hear
them –this also helps to insure tip number 2.

4.      Read them with someone else: Humor is contagious, the more people there
are; the humor grows exponentially. Try it –you’ll see.

5.      The benefit of the doubt: Assume that I knew what I was thinking
when I wrote the post, that in my warped sense of humor it some how made sense
. . . at least if your not laughing with me you’ll be . . .

In order to get a humor post there is minimum requirement of following at least two of the five rules. Three will most likely bring a smile to you face, with chances of laughter and all five should bring you to the proverbial rotfwlrolling on the floor with laughter.Let’s give it a try . . .

Preparation: Makes ure you are sitting in a well lit room –natural light being the optimal. Properventilation is preferable as well. Make sure that you posture is correct, and that you are not straining your eyes. Breathe in. Hold your breath in for 1, 2, 3, 4 . . . hey, keep holding it! . . . 5, 6 seconds. Good, breathe out.
You are now ready to read a joke.

The Test Joke

A mother once had a son who was deathly afraid of Kreplach (Dumplings of Yiddish sort). Erev Yom Kipput there were hysterics,Hoshana Rabba brought him to tears, and Purim was no longer fun for the whole family . . .
The poor mother was at loss –how would she be able to once again serve the festive classic?
Like any good Jewish mother she at last came to a solution.
She took him to a psychologist.
The psychologist analyzed the boy and after several sessions and several
hundred monetary installments he came arrived at the answer.

   “Show the boy how Kreplach are made, when he sees that it is nothing more then meat and dough, he’ll
calm down.”

   With tears of joy in her eyes, the mother returned home and prepared to cure her beloved child of his ailment.
She brought him into the kitchen and took out the ingredients: a slab of dough and a bowl of meat.

Flattening the dough, she then took a spoon full of meat and placed it in the center.
The boy seemed calm.
She folded over the first corner.
The child looked on with curiosity.
She folded over the second corner.
He reached out and cautiously touched the soon to be
She folded over the third corner.
A smile began to creep across the lad’s face.
She folded over the forth and final corner –she was in the clear!
The boy suddenly stood up with horror . . .

“Oy Vey, Krepelach!”

Follow Up:

Was the joke Funny? Did you ‘get it’? Did you make sure to follow the five steps to successfully reading a Letters of Thought humor post? If you followed these steps and failed to produce even a snicker, then try repeating the punch line. If results fail to surface, then perhaps you are currently in a state of stress. Stand up from your chair, do a few basic stretches (The kind that you find in Airplane magazines for a comfortable overseas flight), take a nap and then eat something. Try again at some other time.

Legal disclaimer:

Some people just aren’t funny; they have no sense of humor whatsoever. If you’ve
repeated the above steps and still failed to laugh, then you might be in this category.
Please desist from reading jokes, as it may be hazardous to your health, and
could lead to strain of the eyes, ears, mouth, and medulla oblongata.  


Sefirah said...

thats funny, cause you chose one of the worst jokes on the planet. Its been like 4 years since i first heard it from you...and i still don't get it.

Lvnsm27 said...

reminds me of a girl on tv who was afraid of pickles. Btw, the legal disclaimer is hilarious.

Mottel said...

Sefirah, did you read the legal disclaimer -IF you still don't get the joke, even after following the steps, then you might just not be funny . . . and I wouldn't want you to hurt yout Medulla Oblongata -you need it (You do! Look up what it does)

Lvbsn27 -at last there's someone who get's my jokes! You may come back again. :-)

Fajita said...

you are
incredible with your words!!
awesome, loving your blog. (and im not one who dishes those love ur blog compliments. so revel in it.)

Mottel said...

Glad you found it funny.