Click on this link to see the video
(the video doesn't seem to embed properly)
HSaboMilner posted a link to this video on her blog.
There's something very wrong with this lady's argument. I'm not in denial of the problems people face today . . . Though be diligent in Hilchos Yichud, which makes no difference how the 'help' looks, would go a long way to helping the problem.
What's disturbing about the video is what seems to be an almost total lack of trust in her husband, and in her self! I think more than a fat housekeeper, she needs a boost to her own self-esteem!
The fact that all of this is on the Aish site - auf dem zog ich an ashreinu!Technorati Tags: video, Aish, Marriage, Thoughts, Links
4 comments:
Hm, I'm going to have to think about this. Unfortunately I know a lot of broken marriages from such situations. I do agree with what you said about yichud but I don't think the woman is really lacking self-esteem.
As a married man of 23 years, I find this video to be close minded and insulting and NOT IN ACCORDANCE WITH HALACHA!!
Not sure I follow the logic. Does anyone remember Hugh Grant? Back in the early ’90 he was a big draw Hollywood Actor. He was married to Elizabeth Hurly a equally well known and “pretty” Actress/model. In 1994 he was arrested along with the LA Street Prostitute he was caught with, in the middle of an unmentionable act in his car.
I work in a company with roughly 3000 employees on campus. Statistically speaking that equated to about 1,500 women that I see and some of who I have to interact on a day to day basis. What should my wife do? Insist I quit my job and work as a Men’s room attendant?
A marriage should be built on trust. If you don’t trust your husband or wife to the degree that you have to hand pick the people they interact with, then your marriage really needs help. I say that in all seriousness.
As a Jew we have laws of Yichud (A Prohibition of Seclusion amongst member of the opposite sex in private areas). True, like Mrs Palanik suggests, it helps build a fence, but it does so from a halachic standpoint... regardless of Pretty or plain, Skinny or not so skinny, young or old. Yichud is Halacha. Hiring the “not so pretty” cleaning woman is NOT. In the case of the Rabbi/lecturer that Mrs. Palatnik details in her video, she even has an issue with interactions in a non-Yichud public environment!
As Jews, it’s not only important that we lean Torah, Gemara, Halacha and even as some of us do Chassidus. We need to ACT with the proper middos. As Avos 3:22 says “Anyone whose wisdom is greater than his deeds to what is he comparable? To a tree whose branches are many and whose roots are few, and the wind comes and turns it over”
Hiring not so pretty “Help” is not going to prevent your spouse from straying. Having the proper Middos will.
I posted the following comment, I wonder if they'll publish it:
In the section titled 'Protecting the Sanctity of Marriage', perhaps the focus should be more on the sanctity and less on the protection. Inherent sanctity is what makes the marriage what it is. 'Protection' of the sort advocated in this video, demeans (IMHO) everything that marriage is supposed to be. If we are defined by our looks, 'cuteness' and youth, then society has bigger problems than what 'the help' looks like. When one's spouse is appreciated for what is within, marriages flourish. Why be guided by pop culture, and what actors do, if we can be guided by Torah. Torah tells us that 'Grace is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman that fears Hashem, she shall be praised'. If we adopt Torah values, then even the cutest, young, pretty 'help' will not sully the sanctity of marriage.
I had to suppress a jab at her closing statement 'almost (a)live' in my comment :D
When I saw the video, I was browsing and found this article as well. What is Aish.com thinking???
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