Last Night -Vayikra in Thought

As the doe stood on the edge of two worlds -straddled between the park path and the brush -bordered by crimson mountains, tinted red by ore, jutting forth from earth . . . I doubted if it was keen to approach and take a photo, encapsulating the moment eternally, or to leave it in peace -lest my well meaning presence cause it flee from me forever.

Vayikra -and He called

Last night I was alone . . . One roommate was teaching inmates in Florida, the other babysitting, the next at a friend's wedding . . . and where was I?

"and the L-rd G-d called unto the man, and said unto him: 'Where art thou?'"

The eternal call: Where are you?
For so and so many years, days, and hours you've been on this world -what have you done?
Where are you? Nu?
In a basement in Brooklyn.

I had to get out.

Cloaked in charcoal coat, wrapped in brown scarf and crowned with black kasket I set down Kingston ave. -the heart of Crown Heights.

The streets were nearly empty. A cold wind blew on my face; not the icy wind of midwinter that seeps into ones bones -numbing the mind and heart . . . No.
It was the wind that hints of Spring -of things to come, but not yet there.
A wind of change, of desire to leave the depths to return to the depths. Deep unto deep, deep calling unto deep. The depth of Man's soul calling unto the depth of G-d.

I went into 770 and caught a minyan Ma'ariv.

But he, who is merciful, forgives sin . . . Blessed and Glorious be His Great name -Amen!

The Torah portion dealing with altar offerings begins: "A man who offers (yakriv) of you an offering to G-d." The logical order of the words should be, "A man of you who offers, etc."

The Alter Rebbe answers: "A man who offers" - in order that a man become closer to G-d - "of you an offering to G-d" of himself. He must sacrifice his personal "animal," the desire for evil that is called the animal sou.

He's calling out to you -you want to come close to Me, as I to you! Bring something from yourself . . . Whatever it is a bull, a lamb, a goat . . . Something! Open your soul to me -only a drop . . . Poke a hole like the tip of a needle -and I will open it for you like the gates of the Temple!

Vayikra -and the L-rd called out unto Moses . . . Vayikra with a small Aleph.
אAn Aleph is a point above and a point below -with a bar in the middle.
Deep calling unto to Deep.

It need not be a lot -only a small hole . . . if it has truly penetrated.
For "I am what I am" -the Aleph of the infinite . . . is already there.

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