Down in the lumps.

It's funny the various nuances that are found in the English language.
A bump on ones neck is 'ok', a lump is serious, a growth is scary . . .
I noticed a lump under my chin several weeks ago . . . Feeling under
the weather, I assumed that my glands were swollen. After a couple of
days however, i noticed that the swelling had not yet subsided.
I went to the doctor . . . he told me it was probably nothing, and that I ought to see over the next week or so what happens.
Time went by, the lump didn't.

As I have mentioned in the past, I often live in my head; I play out an innumerable
number of scenarios, of alternate realities . . .

A lump is scary when you don't know what it is. It isn't a growth, but then again, it isn't just a bump.

If it was . . . no it couldn't be? Could it?
What would I say to others . . . what would life be like.
A cynical though past through my head (we all have our ways of dealing
with fear, I guess) . . . it would make for interesting blogging . . .
'You fool!' I retorted mentally, this is scary stuff.
I thought of Yosef.

I said a silent prayer before I lay down that night.

I went to a specialist, he poked and prodded . . .
"When was the last time you were sick?"
"Sick? What do you mean by sick?" -Such a Jewish answer!
"I mean," I continued. "I had felt under the weather . . . but it wasn't much of a temperature."
"So were you sick or weren't you?"
"Well . . ."
"You know, this isn't a trick question. Yes or no?"
"Well, I guess yes."

He took a biopsy . . . It was mostly pus, a good sign. (I know, who'd ever look at pus as a good thing?)

I was put on an antibiotic. On Monday I went back.

The doctor smiled.
"It's just an enlarged lymph node . . . it got infected and swelled."

Thank G-d.


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