It's that time of the year again . . .

I hate buying esrogim . . .
I always feel as if I'm missing out on something, as if there's some secret in buying the perfect esrog that I just don't know.
I know a nice esrog looks nice, a not nice one doesn't.
I know that I'm not getting either, because the nice esrog will run me well into the triple digits and the not nice one's aren't worth buying . . .
It's the ones that I have to buy that I find so . . . so . . . maddening.
Upon entering a room packed with esrogim, filled with people picking them up, squinting at them, poking them, smelling them, whispering one to the other, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."
. . . I just can't figure out which one I want to buy.
It should be yellow like wax, but like bees wax . . . or was that ear wax?
It should be bumpy, but not too bumpy . . . or was it supposed to be very bumpy?
With a gartel, how big of a gartel?
Every year I stand there, lost, confused . . .
So it's that time of the year again . . . Here we go . . .