The letters of our thoughts are the ideas present in our mind before they come to realization . . . Thoughts that are, yet not felt . . . The words of the subconscious . . . of the soul . . .


Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Ba'al Teshuva syndrome explained

I've written in the past about my own feelings on being a Ba'al Teshuva.
Let us now perhaps dwell a little on a returnee to Judaism in general . . . or rather the syndrome 'Ba'al Tshuka' as it were.
I stated in the linked post that it was (is) my desire to separate myself from the image of a Ba'al Teshuva. On one hand this would seem to be the logical continuation of any Ba'al Teshuva's education -why should he remain outside the folds of the community, markedly different in his education or actions . . . one would want to bring him entirely into the fold.
Yet then (to paraphrase) 'Kalkalaso hu takanaso' to 'fix' (after writing the word I'm not sure if it's the write one) him is to destroy the unique quality of his being a Ba'al Teshuva.
Most people do not become frum out of a fear, a fear that they've squandered their past, of how poorly they've acted etc. (Though I am quite sure that at some point all Ba'alie Teshuva have felt the above, myself included; the main draw to Yiddishkiet is from desire -the sense of completion found there within) This is the Yesod of Chabad -sur meirah through Aseih Tov -the draw to Judaism is from the truth, the simcha etc. Automatically the bad slips away.

Time is running low on the Computer here in the Internet Cafe . . . to be continued.


California said...

Hey there,
my whole family BARUCH HASHEM became BT's like 8/9 years ago when I was like nine or ten... I've been lucky to have a mostly Frum Chinuch and as I sit learning Chassidus, or hearing my teachers I forget where we once were. Then suddenly I think of Yiddishkiet again, I think of Torah and how truly beautiful it is to me, and suddenly everything is new again!
It's so so so special to be a BT and be able to love Torah and Mitzvos in all its constant newness... yet as time goes on we forget about it all unfortunately. Then suddenly we hear something or experience something that reawakens us.
I think we need more TEACHERS to help awaken students who are FFB!!! I want to be one of them, and if you want to be so should you if you want to!!!
Much Hatzlocha!